Raw opens with Paul Heyman walking to the ring to CM Punk’s theme music. Cole refers to Heyman as Punk’s “associate” and notes that his relationship with Punk is unclear. This is a mystery which is good for WWE programming. Punk does not need a mouthpiece, but having Heyman around as a sort of sounding board has been extremely beneficial to Punk’s heel turn.
Heyman tells the crowd that he got to witness history last night in the form of Punk succesfully defending his title. Crowd enters one of their hot moments, booing Heyman, and Heyman acknowledges the crowd reaction, noting that the ending of the match was “embroiled in controversy.” So Paul Heyman calls out the referee to justify his decision. This is similar to when he and Brock called out the referee for the Triple H/Brock match. It would be unfortunate if calling out referees became Paul Heyman’s gimmick.
Chad Patton heads to the ring and the crowd sends some light boos his way. Patton defends his decision, and Heyman shows footage which was posted to YouTube showing Cena’s shoulders down for the three. Heyman works the crowd and begins demanding respect for the champ when Cena’s music hits.
Cena tells Paul Heyman to shut up, because he agrees with him. Patton made the right call. Audible “Cena Sucks” chants, which makes Cena smile. Cena says the match had a WrestleMania feel, and that it ending in a draw was like ending the Super Bowl in a tie. Cena notes that respect is earned “by leaving no doubt” and after a long spiel asks for a rematch on Raw. Crowd obviously pops. Not like they’re going to say no.
Heyman notes that Punk has not arrived and declares himself to be the “Voice of the Voice of the Voiceless,” which is brilliant, but then is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio. Heyman looks about as confused as the viewers at home as Del Rio makes his way to the ring. ADR complains about his match not being fair in about as many ways as he can, which brings out Raw General Manager AJ. AJ says she is going to make a super main event, teaming Punk and Del Rio against Sheamus and John Cena. Winner gets their rematch for their chosen title. Cross your fingers it’s not Sheamus/ADR part way-too-many.
After the opening segment, Cole gives us a quick update on Jerry Lawler, who is making a swift recovery. Then Michael Cole is joined at the announce table by JBL and good ol’ JR. Jim Ross is sporting a goatee, possibly due to a transporter accident which has replaced him with his evil mirror universe double.
Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara head to the ring for a tag match with former WWE Tag Team Champions Epico and Primo. Epico and Primo apparently aren’t even deserving of a proper entrance, as they’re just waiting in the ring for Sin Cara and Rey to get there. Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio have been tagging a lot lately, victims of this new trend in WWE to just slap teams together based on whatever binding feature happens to be available.
As the match gets underway, JR notes that “business has picked up” in the tag team division, hitting his stride immediately by tossing out a trademark “Ross-ism.” The match is rather bland considering it features a pair of high flyers in Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio. Sin Cara picks up the victory with a Swanton bomb. After the match, Rey and Sin Cara are jumped by the Prime Time Players, who declare post-beatdown that they are out to “take what they want.” Seems AW’s assessment of the PTP being not unlike Kobe Bryant weren’t too far off the mark.
Following the match, Cole announces that tonight will see the debut of a new talk show segment in WWE, “Miz TV.” Miz seems to be getting something of a push lately, so we’ll see how this goes.
Layla heads to commentary for a match between Beth Phoenix and new Divas Champion Eve. The crowd is visibly shuffling out like this is intermission. The unfortunate thing about that is that the Divas division will never improve unless people give it a fair chance.
Unfortunately, this match justifies the crowd taking a break, as it is short and useless. Beth Phoenix takes the dive, and Eve has a moment with Layla which is probably building to a Diva’s title rematch. Throughout the short match, JBL complained about the “Jesse Ventura like conspiracy theories” regarding Kaitlyn’s injury and subsequent loss of her title shot the night before at Night of Champions. So while it seems Layla will be getting her rematch, at least Kaitlyn hasn’t been forgotten.
Up next is the ever-dreadful Brodus Clay, taking on Heath Slater. The poor One Man Band gets stomped while the portion of the crowd that didn’t take a break during the Divas match takes a break now. JBL earns some brownie points by absolutely slamming Brodus Clay throughout the match, stating that Clay needs to stop worrying about dancing and start worrying about championships. Clay ends his vicious beatdown with the Big Splash and brings some kids into the ring to dance with as per usual. JR notes that this is a moment this kids will remember their entire life. JBL responds that winning a championship would be a moment Clay would remember his entire life.
Miz TV debuts next. Miz compares his show to previous shows like Piper’s Pit and Edge’s Cutting Edge. Miz argues that his show will be superior because those superstars were never as controversial or charismatic as he is. He probably missed Edge’s live sex celebration on Raw all those years back.
Miz invites his first guest, Booker T, down to the ring and begins to grill him on his decisionmaking of late, but never let’s Booker respond. The crowd starts one of the loudest “Boring!” chants ever and JBL chimes in, saying he agrees with the folks in the audience, this segment is terrible. Booker cuts the segment short, stealing the mic from Miz and basically inviting Ryback to the ring. Miz runs, Ryback tears up the set, and we’re left to conclude that Ryback is in line for a shot at the Intercontinental Championship.
Cut to the back where CM Punk and Paul Heyman are chatting. John Matthews asks Punk about his upcoming match, which sends Punk into a rage. CM Punk asks what he has to do to get some respect and slaps the mic away, then storms off with Heyman following closely behind.
Santino heads to the ring for action as he will take on Mr. Money in the Bank, Dolph Ziggler. The match is just a comedy break, which is good because the Miz segment absolutely murdered the crowd’s enthusiasm. Crowd chants “Let’s go Ziggler!” as Ziggler humiliates the Milan Miracle. Following a brief bout, Ziggler picks up a dominant victory over the former US champ.
More in-ring action follows as the recently returned Wade Barrett heads out for a match on Raw. Wade will take on Justin Gabriel, his former Nexus and Corre teammate. During the match, the crowd fills the arena with “Bring Back Nexus” and “We Want Nexus” chants. Kudos to Michael Cole for at least acknowledging the crowd’s chants. Wade Barrett picks up the win with an incredibly stiff looking (and sounding) punch to Gabriel’s face. “That would have knocked out a horse,” says JBL.
Truth, Kofi, and Lil Jimmy in back with Jared from Subway. Yes. Jared from Subway is on WWE programming again. Jared is on Raw celebrating Subway’s birthday. Truth tells Jared that “Lil’ Jimmy has some great ideas for sandwiches,” which leads to a long pause as the imaginary Jimmy pitches his idea and Truth declares “Shazam! Now that’s some good eatin’ for a sandwich.” Damien Sandow pitches Jarred a sandwich as well, then Zack Ryder pitches a new Sandwich name: the “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It Sub.” The bit caps off as Ryback tells Jarred to, you guessed it, “Feed me more,” after which Jared hands him a sub, and Ryback grabs a second for good measure.
The entire segment is just lightning-fast punchline after punchline, and it is hard to admit that it was all in all a good, funny bit.
More backstage segments as Sheamus is in back with Cena. Cena seems preoccupied as Sheamus goes on and on about his recent accomplishments. Sheamus tells Cena that after they win, they’ll head down to the pub to get a few pints. As Sheamus walks away, Cena asks “Pints? He wants to get ice cream?” Ladies and gentlemen, your face of World Wrestling Entertainment, Mr. John Cena.
A quick cut to Kane and Bryan heading to the ring shouting “I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPION!” in back, as they defend their newly won Tag Team Championship next.
As the competitors head to the ring, the crowd goes absolutely nuts with the “Yes!” chants. Daniel Bryan is arguably the most over person on the roster not named John Cena or CM Punk. The match itself is a solid tag team outing which was dominated by the Kane and Bryan storyline, as the pair did more to undermine one another at every turn than to work as a team. The match ends when Kane nails Truth with the chokeslam and Bryan forces the tag to make Truth tap to the No-Lock.
After the match, Kane grabs both tag team titles, and the pair exchange shouts of “I am the tag team champions!” at one another until the crowd begins to chant “Hug it out!” After dragging it out for a bit, the pair hug to a huge pop, and Bryan uses the opportunity to steal one of the Tag Team Championship belts off of Kane. The entire bit leaves JBL and the announce crew dumbfounded.
Next up Randy Orton takes on Tensai. Tensai has definitely gone from monster heel to monster jobber in his short stay on the roster, and tonight just furthers that downfall. Orton manages to pull a passable match out of Tensai and picks up the with with the RKO.
Another cut backstage and Heyman and Punk are mumbling to one another that AJ is abusing her power. David Otunga breaks up the conversation and tells Heyman and Punk that his client, Alberto Del Rio, expects them to follow his lead. Punk reminds ADR he beat him for the WWE title at last year’s Survivor Series and the duo agree to a reluctant alliance heading into tonight’s main event.
One final undercard match before the main event as Damien Sandow takes on Zack Ryder in what was actually a very fun match and segment. Sandow received a good pop from the crowd as he told JR that “slobberknocker is not a word,” then proceeds to give the crowd a vocabulary lesson, dropping words such as temerity, ignoramus and miscreant on the crowd.Ryder breaks up the lesson and the crowd lets loose a big “Let’s go Ryder/Woo Woo Woo” chant. Sandow picks up the win with his neckbreaker after a very hard fought and entertaining match. Ryder may be losing but at least he’s getting TV time.
One to the main event as World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus makes his way to the ring. Small reaction for Sheamus, predominantly negative reaction for Cena. ADR makes his way to the ring, followed by Punk who gets a good reaction. Punk stalls the match holding his title up for an extended amount of time. JBL sings the praises of Punk, a far cry from the early days of Punk’s career when JBL was his first major challenge for the World Heavyweight Title.
The match ends when Cena picks up the victory following an Attitude Adjustment, but expect controversy as Punk’s foot was clearly on the bottom rope during the pinfall. Punk hassles the ref all the way to the back to the close of the show.
Although the show was at times torturously slow, last night’s Raw delivered a few positive moments. While little progress has been made in terms of key storyline developments (with the exception of Punk and Cena’s feud being given further reason to progress) the amount of action the midcard was allowed was a positive, and last night’s unspoken endorsement of both the developing Tag Team and Intercontinental divisions makes it seem that more opportunities will be opened up for superstars to succeed on more than just the main event level. Any event which undermines the “main event or bust” theme that seems to have been prevalent in WWE in recent years is a positive achievement for the company and the sport as a whole.
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